FEEEEDOOOR!!! (fee-door) Philippians 1:27

tosaness

2008-04-14T18:53:00.000-07:00

i sure have been a slacker on keeping this up. it's been nearly 4 months since my last entry and my dear friend tosan reminded me that she doesn't know what's going on in my life since my blog isn't updated.
wow! what a tall order to fill -- the last 4 months.... i really can't complain about anything. the Lord has been so kind in everything from my job, roommates, church and starbucks. i'm learning to trust God with my health which has not come easy - but i've been encouraged by 2 cor. 12:9 a lot recently. remembering that paul asked the Lord to remove the thorn in his side and God did not - BUT paul boasted in the Lord all the more. i pray that i would be more like paul.

i'm going to try and update this more often - but first i have to go watch some more hgtv:)

keep on

this next year

2007-12-27T16:50:00.000-08:00

this next year -- i have no idea what the Lord will bring. Christmas was a blessing - having the opportunity to spend it with the Lyle's and the Douw's. Last night I hung out with the Gilbart-Smith's. They are hilarious. i love them!

as this year is wrapping up - i can't believe that 2007 is just about done. it has gone by so quickly. this past year the Lord has been so kind. there have been so many things the Lord has been challenging me in many areas of life, which is a good thing. thankfully, there have been some health progress on things that have been going wrong for years. we'll see how it goes next year.

i'm encouraged that no matter what the Lord brings - the one thing i learned this year is that i'm never alone. He will never leave me nor forsake me. that is all i need to know.

thankfulness

2007-11-19T17:41:00.001-08:00

it was such a good visit. i am so happy that peggy got to come visit
for the weekend. the Lord is so kind. i hadn't seen peggy since after college in 2000. i can't believe 7 years have past since then. but, as the Lord always does, He surprises me.

this year is not over and has been filled with so many blessings and so many opportunities for growth and trusting in Christ to get me through things. with recent health issues again.... i've been reminded of paul and his thorn in his side. God's grace is sufficient and to Him be he glory, no matter what.

go navy! beat army!

it's been a while

2007-10-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

wow.. it's been so long since my last post. today i began reading a book that was given to me at the Truth For Life weekend back home in Cleveland a few weeks ago. It's Jerry Bridges book "Respectable Sins" -- i'm only on page 23 and overwhelmed by the biblical truths that he is speaking about and how even Christians commit sins that we "accept" or don't acknowledge. bridges talks about all of us who believe in Christ are "saints" according to the bible. paul in his letters addresses the recipients as saints (romans 1:7, 16:15, ephesians 1:1). the greek word for saint is hagios, which refers to a state of being, not just someone's character. it is active and present. as saints that means that we should focus on getting rid of any and all sin in our lives as the Lord convicts us and molds us to be more like Christ. unfortunately, some sins are often overlooked and not taken as serious as others. this is not right. a sin is a sin, period.

here's an excerpt from the book that i've been thinking a lot about today.
"...on the whole, we appear to be more concerned about the sins of society than we are about the sins of the saints."
"the concept of sin among many conservative Christians has been essentially "refined" to cover only the obviously gross sins of our society." but sin has not disappeared from the sight of God."

think about the sins that you commit that you have grown to accept or believe aren't as bad as someone else's sin.

... and so it begins...

2007-09-03T08:32:00.000-07:00

the Navy football season finally has begun - and i'm so thankful to have season tickets again (it's been 2 years without) -- what a great way to spend my saturday's!

the Mids started the season with a great win over Temple (30-19).

GO NAVY!

bourne

2007-08-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

bourne ultimatum was fabulous -- i wish there was a real jason bourne :)

tomorrow at noon

2007-08-08T11:37:00.000-07:00

tomorrow at noon is the anniversary of my favorite president, Richard M. Nixon. i found this clip on youtube
from billy joel's "we didn't start the fire" -- one of my favorites too!

august 9, 1974 our 37th president resigned from office.

lesson for the day

2007-08-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

it's a blessing and a lot of work when the Lord has decided it's time to "do business." over the past week i've been really learning what the Lord expects us of us and how we are to work and serve to please Him - Him period.

IF I believe in Galatians 2:20 -- "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in this body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me."

How then shall I live? How should you live? What does this mean -- seek after His approval. Run after His will daily. As long as we cleave to our own personal agenda and continue to nurse my own will, the personalized daily will of God will be thwarted in us.

it's coming!

2007-08-02T05:21:00.000-07:00

and for those of you who care -- and for those of you that should care ... NAVY football season is starting in less than a month! AMEN!

here's the schedule:

8/31 at Temple
9/7 at Rutgers
9/15 vs. Ball State
9/22 vs. Duke
9/29 vs. Air Force (Hopefully we can defeat them and Army to keep the Commander's Cup
AGAIN!)
10/10 at Pittsburgh
10/20 vs. Wake Forest
10/27 vs. Delaware
11/3 at Notre Dame
11/10 at North Texas
11/17 vs. Northern Illinois
12/1 vs. Army

just when you think it won't go any farther....

2007-07-12T13:33:00.001-07:00

today on the floor of the United States Senate -- a Hindu prayer was given to start the day. this is completely --- i am so angry i don't even have words.

just because

2007-07-03T04:23:00.000-07:00

i love our interns -- they are such a blessing and so fun to have around :) here are some of them with me at the WH for the President's speech on his recent ESCR veto. Thankfully, the bad haircut has been growing out fast.

thank you and goodnight.

59 days until NAVY football season starts !!!

thank you michael lawrence!

2007-06-28T12:41:00.000-07:00

ok, so what girl hasn't struggled with feeling ugly, fat, not tall enough, too short, and the list goes on and on... i'm one of them... i know what i think.

in the culture that we live in it's really hard not to be influenced by such things. unfortunately a lot of Christian brothers fall in to the category of not pursuing girls that aren't a size 2 and ya know.....

michael lawrence - one of the pastor's at my church
wrote 2 articles on attraction and how we've both got it wrong (not just the guys) -- i hope that you'll read these and be challenged on what you think you deserve physically in your future or even current spouse or person you're dating.
I'm just not attracted to her (part 1)

i'm just not attracted to her (part 2)

... it's dead.....

2007-06-28T08:38:00.000-07:00

YEAH!!!!! It's dead :) I never thought I would say such a thing - and on top of it all... want to shout it out the window.... but, that's what i want to do!

the "immigration bill" was blocked on procedural vote in the Senate - the debate is ova!
the article

when they let you down

2007-06-25T19:11:00.001-07:00

over the past 2 days i've learned that one of my old friends has walked away from the Lord while another has not quite made it back to Him since college, but knows that in order to be living his life for Christ - he needs to stop living like he currently is.

this makes me so sad. two nice guys that i've known for over 10 years -- and they are the nicest, politest, funnest -- and yet - they have looked in the mirror and walked away forgetting WHOSE they are.

it was good to be able to encourage my friend tonight with the scripture in Luke 9:18-27. AND it was a reminder to me as well. who do i say that Christ is daily by the way i think, act, speak, treat others? peter confessed that Christ is the Son of God and yet he denied he ever knew Jesus just shortly before. we all do this! we all deny who Christ really is when there is something we want more -- and yet, tonight i sit here in amazement that the Creator of the Universe has called me to be His daughter. What a gift!

Jesus asked peter -- "Who do the crowds say that I am?" and then "Who do you say that I am?"
Answer the question! Who do you say Jesus is by your thoughts, actions, work, driving, affection toward others, speech, love for your family and friends?

let me leave this post with this question that hits me so hard every time i read it!!

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose his life?

another reason to love the Navy

2007-06-20T15:33:00.000-07:00

... and this has been quite a week. this afternoon i had the opportunity to attend the White House for the President's remarks on his veto of ESCR. it was so beautiful, what a blessing. as i walked around with our interns for the summer it was great to see how excited they were to be in W's house. there is so much tradition and history and awwwwwwww that i have every time i'm there. it NEVER gets old to me.
and there were a number of military personnel present that were helping to guide us all where we needed to go -- and we met the nicest Navy guy. polite and so kind to have his photo taken with Corinne and i. just another reason to love the Navy!

ONLY 72 days until NAVY football season starts :)

yelloooooooooo

2007-06-18T15:25:00.000-07:00

yellow -- i'm not a fan of the color -- unless it goes with navy blue for the Navy colors to be complete... but, tomorrow i'm supposed to wear a yellow t-shirt because my roommates are doing something crazy for the fedorian birthday. what the heck do i need to wear a yellow t-shirt for?

i guess you'll all know after i do :)

have a great day!

philippians 1:27 "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ."

trust

2007-06-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

this place never gets old to me. the chapel at usna is one of my favorite places - who knew!
there is so much tradition and history in here. everything has a purpose - where it was placed and why. today i really need to rely on tradition and history -- the history and tradition of God's faithfulness. His plan. His direction. i've found my heart confused the past few days -- and i do know that i can't trust my heart - it's so fickle. please pray for my heart to focus on what is true and noble, and ultimately God's plan for my heart, not mine. we all know that i've made some really dumb decisions in my life when i was focused on what my heart wanted to do. praise God for His patience with such a child as me.

go navy! beat army!
... only 82 days til navy football season starts! :)

Happy Sunny Day

2007-06-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

incase you have been living under a rock (and if you're reading this it means you know me, and if you don't know this, then you don't know me :) -- it's always a happy sunny day in the beautiful town of Annapolis! For the past 2 weekends I've spent a day up there and got to show people around USNA (GO NAVY!) -- I LOVE that place! The honor, tradition and perseverance that are taught at the Naval Academy never cease to amaze me. It's definitely one of my favorite places to be. I know I know... some of you think that I'm there just for the uniforms -- NEGATIVE! granted, i like to see them. but, what i like to see more is the application of what they are being taught. please pray for them -- the new plebes will be arriving soon to be shocked by massive amounts of physical activity, yelling, and being taught discipline. not to mention the sweet new hair cuts! :)

have a wonderful happy sunny day!

Is it any wonder?

2007-05-30T04:55:00.000-07:00

... so i'll add some photos from the concert last night later this week when our
internet is back up and running... but, the performance was great! i sometimes wonder if a band is going to sound as good in person as they are on cd... well, bottom line is they did :)

Thanks to my good friend Jeff (aka Arctic Puffin) who surprised me with a ticket :)
-- and as always it's good to hang out with the Trouts :)

unbelief

2007-05-23T04:41:00.000-07:00

this morning was a great devotional -- it was on matthew 6:25. it's so easy to be distracted by the things of this world. how will i pay my rent? how am i going to make it on time to my appointment? what will people think of me? why don't they like me? and on and on... you know your thoughts.

then this morning in "my utmost for His highest" it states - don't take the pressure of your provision upon yourself. it it not only wrong to worry, it is unbelief!

UNBELIEF!?

yes! this means that all those times during the day when "i" decide to be an idiot and think that "i" am in control of things -- i'm deciding not to believe in God. this is not the kind of person i want to be. i want to believe and trust and daily trust in HIS provisions.
most of you know the crazy things that tend to happen in my life and how the Lord ALWAYS surprises me in the 11th hour -- why do i think He does this so much? To show me HIS provision and so that I can give glory to Him. He is the ONLY One that deserves it.

time to be concerned

2007-05-07T18:21:00.000-07:00

after a long few weeks - this morning i was privileged enough to start my new position as director of media and grassroots relations at cwa. God has been so gracious and overwhelming me with His provision. after leaving my prior position and walking boldly through clarifying some issues up with a boy -- i feel that a little rest is in order. but, of course there is no time for rest when trying to get caught up on social policy issues that are impacting the moral values and life as we know it as a Christian. i pray that this new responsibility is humbling to me, and ultimately that Christ would be glorified by my work. that i would grow in fear and reverence to our mighty Creator.

and this fun photo above -- i really like it, it's through the large window at starbucks that is literally less than 10 steps from the front door of my building. i like the reflection on the glass.

Psalm 111:10 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His precepts have good understanding. To Him belongs eternal praise."

Philippians 1:27

2007-04-26T19:26:00.000-07:00

how sharply i was reminded today of a verse that the Lord has put on my heart for the past few months -- "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ."

praise God for His continual grace and provision. while this afternoon was the end of one assignment that God had placed me at -- doors are opening - and i'm being stretched and reminded that He is ALWAYS faithful. no matter what my circumstances may look like, God is NEVER taken by surprise by the twists and turns of our lives. isn't that refreshing! NOTHING is a surprise to God.

i know that i makes jokes a lot that my life is a tv show, sometimes i feel like it's the truman show or something -- but, after some dear people to me said such kind things about my character and the ways i've encouraged them -- i can't tell you how humbling it was to me.

God is most fully known in the midst of chaos. since most of my life is in the midst of chaos, and it makes me uncomfortable -- it hopefully is making me grow in godliness. i pray this would continue in my life and yours. i pray that people look at your character and instead of seeing you - they see Christ. i pray that no matter how rough it gets, no matter how many times you feel you've been defeated -- remember that so much more has been defeated on your behalf -- things that you are not able to defeat on your own. that is why each and every one of us needs a perfect sacrifice. Thankfully, we have that in Christ.

ness

2007-04-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

His faithfulness is amazing! i'm so excited that my goodest friend diane "d" is here from texas! this morning i had an important meeting - and the Lord gave me peace and confidence as i spoke. i got some more good news when i returned from my morning meeting -- CWA has been contacting some of my friends to find out about my work. i'm feeling so overwhelmed by the Lord's goodness and kindness toward me -- i'm so undeserving! my prayer is that no matter where the Lord takes me - that i would be obedient in sharing the gospel and being stretched in my faith and learning to sit at His feet with lot's of ness - thankfulness, faithfulness :)

keep goin'

2007-04-18T17:27:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

... as usual it's been quite a challenging week, and it's not over. the Lord is gracious in allowing me to work through things - waiting on His timing, my own insecurities, feeling the need to prove myself to people in authority... and i'm tired! thankfully, tomorrow "d" (diane) is coming to town and then we're flying to TX this weekend. i'll spend a day in austin by myself which i'm definitely in need of -- a day of visiting the state capitol and ut. maybe there will be a james avery store around too!

i need some rest -- and i don't quite know what that looks like in reality. it's as though i know i need rest, but there's so much to do, and if i slow down i'll miss something. yeah, that is pretty selfish!

you can never have too many purses or too many friends

2007-04-17T10:20:00.000-07:00

so.... i am thankful to have lotsa both! my friend Jax shared her new purse with me today -- it has polka dots of pretty colors. here's the website, it's like build-a-bear -- but for a purse :)

unanswered questions

2007-04-06T12:12:00.000-07:00

the Lord is always keeping me on my toes! after many more blood tests and exams etc. -- i got a call that all the recent tests have come back normal. ugh!

my selfishness wants to whine - "this stinks! why can't they figure this out? i want to be healthy, lighter!" but, the Lord has quickly reminded me -- that's NOT what this life is about -- and yet i still "want" -- it's amazing how the Lord allows things that can discourage us be an opportunity to either trust in Him, for He is the ultimate doctor! He is the one who knows what is going on with my health. if He chooses to allow doctors to figure that out, i'll sure be excited!

geogreeting

2007-04-02T08:58:00.000-07:00

Geogreetings are fun! You type in your name and it finds actual buildings that spell out your name. Here's my name!
Geogreeting

what is my job?

2007-03-29T05:31:00.000-07:00

this morning again was beautiful! i got to the office way early - 7:15 AM -- what the?

anyway, as i'm praying for some friends who are job searching, trying to get into law school, going to have babies, moving, in missions, struggling with sickness, etc. -- i remembered that my job is to trust in Christ. to believe and walk boldly forward daily, trusting in His sovereignty. that is my job - that's your job. recently i've been going through the life of Christ's ministry and the crucifixion -- and thought of thomas. i don't want to be like that, i want to trust without seeing the outcome and then say that i was trusting in His sovereignty and grace.

John 20:29 "then Jesus told him (thomas), "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

i want to be one of those ...

if i could be anywhere today...

2007-03-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

if i could be anywhere today - i would be here, annapolis harbor heading out for a run. it's such a beautiful day outside. sunshine! this morning was a gorgeous sunrise the Lord gave us. it was the kind that you have to squint because there are so many colors and it's so bright!

since last sunday's sermon
by cj -- i've been really trying to see everything as a gift. i am absolutely nothing without the gifts the Lord has chosen to give me. granted, sometimes i'm not happy with the gifts i'm given - experiences and struggles -- but, i am trying to remember that regardless of circumstances, He has my best interest in mind. there are so many things in my life that i have no idea what direction they're going -- and yet, in God's grace, He has been giving me peace about it all. i don't know so much. i'm a yahoo! without His gift of knowledge of the things i know - i'm absolutely nothing.

it would be a great day to be laying on the deck of a boat and just ponder how wonderful a Savior we have in Christ.

Philippians 1:27 "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ."

ab's words hit like a brick!

2007-03-10T13:52:00.000-08:00

on friday morning - i was needing some encouragement - and at 8:00 AM Truth For Life
alistair was speaking on hebrews 4:1-13 in the series "fix your eyes on Jesus - rest for your souls, Part B" -- and it was great!
the Lord used that to encourage me and in turn when i got in to work i was able to listen to it with some of my co-workers, and it encouraged them. one of my friends was especially bothered by traffic that morning - and so hearing that we are to focus on the gospel, not our circumstances was helpful for her.
last Sunday evening at church Kurt Heath spoke. he did a great job of telling us that we can't look at our circumstances and then come to the cross with the wrong perspective. it is much more helpful for us to START at the foot of the cross and then look at our circumstances. when we do this, things are much different.
when we think first of what has been done for us by Christ, then we can look at the circumstances through 1 Peter 4:12-13

"dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. but rejoice, that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."

Philippians 1:27

2007-03-10T13:39:00.000-08:00

the Lord is so kind in reminding me when i need to be - and teaching me things when i'm not ready for them. but, He is so faithful and gracious - reminding me that i am alive today for His glory, not my own.

the past few weeks it is with thanks that i've been able to encourage others around me - strangers at starbucks, work, church, target :) my heart has been reminded by Philippians 1:27 which states, "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." B A M!!! that means if i'm sick, dying, miserable in my personal life, stuck in traffic, waiting for the Lord to bring my future husband, hoping that my family come to know Christ, struggling with the sin in my life each day, sailing in Annapolis (my dream place!), at a winning Navy football game -- no matter what! conduct myself as a daughter of the Creator of the universe. conduct myself in a manner worthy of the very Christ that was a substitution for my filthy sin. That is what it's saying!

so, it DOES NOT MATTER what is going wrong or right in your life at the moment, the past or the future -- walk in a manner worthy of the One who has called you by name and who knows what is ahead for you.

Philippians 1:27 "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ."
period. that's it! no matter what!

in the air

2007-02-24T19:39:00.000-08:00

so, orlando was good. i wish that we'd had some time to go see some stuff while we were there. jeff and i did get to see a shuttle take off on our way to kinko's one afternoon. that was pretty cool.
God definitely used my time this past week to challenge me in how i treat people and how i allow people to treat me. lots to learn -- on the flight home i did get to do some reading on a book on AIDS and how it is impacting the world. kk was reading a book about the mistreatment of children around the world. it's amazing how good we have it here in this country.
it was great to have a window seat -- i got to see my favorite luggage loading on to the plane and a good shot of the wing out the window. :)

yeah!

2007-02-20T07:10:00.000-08:00

And there it was! After running errands printing and looking for a GPS system to give away at the NRB Convention
It's been quite a time here. The Lord has definitely used this time to challenge me and make me feel uncomforatble. But, He does that a lot. Every few months the Lord shakes things up in my life - and so I've just grown to accept it. I don't see it as a bad thing - I know some friends have told me that their lives are just boring compared to mine, that they don't have this "excitement" -- but, that's ok :) I honestly can't imagine my life any other way. I don't like being "comfortable" for too long. It's quite an adventure - and I'm so thankful that the Lord has chosen to reveal His faithfulness to me and His character to me throughout my life like this. I definitely need to keep "relearning" things in life - but it's good that He cares enough to correct me over and over. More of Him and less of me -- that's the goal -- and... along the way with lots of cofeee!

good times :)

2007-02-13T15:11:00.000-08:00

i love coffee and i love college ministry and i love road trips and i love making nicknames for people and i love calling people 75 and snacks and i love encouraging people in the gospel and i love hearing stories about how people got married and i love the movie game and i love singing beyonce in the car and i love hanging with kasey and i love and i love quoting movie lines and i love learning about the biblical view of important things that don't need to be mentioned on my site :)

4 key truths

2007-01-27T10:47:00.000-08:00

so, as i'm reading this great book that is really rockin' my world (keep in mind, i'm only on chapter 2!) -- i thought i'd pass along some insight that i found to be really sobering. for the first time in my life i really feel that i'm aware of my sin - how frequent i sin - how frequent i offend Christ. granted, i still have a long way to go (praise Him for sanctification) - but i'm so thankful that my eyes are being opened to better understand just how powerful sin is and how there is no escaping it's taunting.

in kris lundgaard's book "straight talk about the power and defeat of sin" -- he points out 4 key truths about just how close sin is to us and how it won't go away.

1. sin living in us is a law.
Romans 7:21-23 "So, I find this law at work: when I want to do good, evil is
right here with me. For my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see
another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law
of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my
members."

2. we find this law inside us. (Romans 7:21)

3. we find this law when we're at our best.
though the law of sin works from the inside, we as believers in Christ sill want
to do good. we still want to please God and give Him glory.

4. this law never rests.
sin is constantly fighting us.
Galatians 5:17 "For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and
the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each
other, so that you do not do what you want."

i pray that although it is sobering to see that we can not escape the taunting of sin, and committing sin ourselves - by facing it face on - we can move faithfully in the direction of becoming more like Christ as we turn to Him to get us through this war on a day to day basis.

:)

ain't no way to outrun this one

2007-01-21T12:13:00.000-08:00

The Lord has been amazing as always! I can't stop thinking about Africa - Malawi - the 15 million children in the world who have been abandoned by their parents because they've died of HIV/AIDS. But, what a precious burden that I carry now with excitement. The doors continue to open for me in the people that I meet and the opportunities that continue to be revealed. There are orphanages in Malawi that have invited me and hospitals. It's unbelieveable. God is changing my heart - in ways that I never would have imagined. Let's go!

get dressed!

2007-01-16T06:46:00.000-08:00

Wow! For the past 2 days I've listened to this sermon by one of our former pastor's, Thabiti. Ephesians 6 - Armor of God has been a section of scripture that I've been -- not so trying hard to memorize. After hearing him speak on this - I can say that I've been encouraged to press on in this. Not to look at it as something that I should do, but rather, something that I want to do. A way to better know the Lord. To better understand the battle that is going on.

He made a few comments that I totally could relate to and felt convicted about. Prayer needs to be a priority. Sometimes by the time I get to bed - I have forgotten to pray and so I try while I'm tired. This does not work!!! Also, putting on the armor of God should be part of my daily routine. I spend enough time picking out what I'll wear, if I have time to run by to get coffee etc. -- I need to spend more time preparing for the day that the Lord has been so gracious in giving me. I hope that you will be as encouraged as I was after listening to this sermon.

Ephesians 6

Get dressed!

... in keeping with tradition...

2007-01-08T18:55:00.000-08:00

... in keeping with tradition -- it's nixon's birthday - president number 37! some of you think it strange that i like this guy so much -- but after studying him for 4 years and studying at his presidential library
i can still say that it was an honor. it was an honor to spend time with his daughter (julie nixon eisenhower) as the Lord gave the me the opportunity to lobby for her dad's presidential library.

long story short -- nixon was a true story of how someone can change. nixon became a christian before he died in 1994. it was amazing to hear and read about.

list yourself

2007-01-01T19:14:00.000-08:00

so for christmas i got a book titled, "list yourself" -- at first i was skeptical - but i actually think it will be a good thing. it's not so easy to sit down and think about yourself. self examination is something that is essential in growing spiritually. it's so important to get a realistic perspective of who we are in relation to God. it's important to recognize our own sinfulness and how we need to be intentional on working against it in our daily lives.
the "list yourself" questions that i was looking at today were the following: try and list some of these for yourself, it's not that easy!
1. list the spiritual pursuits you've undertaken to give your life meaning
2. list the biggest catastrophe you've survived
3. list the "imperfections" in yourself that annoy you the most
4. list the excesses in your life, from passions to behaviors

:)

another year begins

2007-01-01T17:45:00.000-08:00

... another year - gone. it's amazing to me how the older i get the faster the years pass. i know i'm not "old" but it just seems like it was the beginning of 2006. it's a good thing, i pray that i'm a little wiser and a little more sanctified :)

there's been a lot of little things that have happened this past year. i left a job that i was pretty much married to and found myself sleeping on the floor in my office (with my favorite navy blanket!) more times than i like to remember. but, in that the Lord showed me that i'm capable of handling a lot more than i thought. He provided sanity for me by being able to pray and take walks to starbucks throughout the day. i learned about complete dependence on Him after i left there. He provided a great temporary place for me to work at until the Lord opened the doo for me to work at Silas Partners. and now it's a completed year.
this year has already begun with some challenges - mainly the health issue. not sure what will happen with all that this year -- but tomorrow morning i have a doctor appointment, so we'll see :)
regardless of my life's circumstance -- to Him be the glory forever and ever!

enjoy the beginning of '07

iwo jima

2006-12-29T08:20:00.000-08:00

iwo jima - one of my all time favorite monuments in dc. it is a good place to go and reflect on what men gave up in order that we may live free as we do today. it's close to arlington national cemetary which - walking through there is a realistic reminder of the men and women that have given so much for us.
the upcoming movie "letters from iwo jima"
is going to be great! as a follow up to "flags of our fathers" eastwood has responded with this movie from the japanese perspective. i'm so looking forward to this!

as the year draw to a close there is so much to look back on. i'm reminded with all of the military engagements that have occured in order that i be able to live free. being that 2007 is right around the corner i hope to spend some time reflecting on not only what men and women died for -- but most importantly what Christ died for. i'm quite challenged by this understanding. there is so much going on in the world -- there are men and women defending us right now around the world that we have no idea about.

ultimately -- the Lord knows what's going on. that is encouraging. i'm slowly learning to rest in His ability. i'm by no means close to trusting in Him as i should -- but, i'm so thankful for His continual daily grace that many times i'm unaware of.

my prayer is that the next few days you'll spend some time thinking of the blessings that you've been given and that you'll be thankful. that you won't waste them, that you will actively think of ways in 2007 that you can give to those the Lord has placed in your life.

fe

RED AGAIN

2006-12-28T11:01:00.000-08:00

(RED) has caught my attention. December 1 was World AIDS Day . What I thought was going to be just an interactive game that I was making up for my co-workers to raise awareness - well, I'm the one who actually has become aware and very convicted to do something. The statistics are heart breaking - and I have been saying, "Someone needs to do something. Someone needs to go!" As the Lord often does -- the finger was pointing back at me. This summer I'll hopefully be heading to Malawi. An old acquaintance of mine runs the GAIA where he has focused on the stigma of HIV/AIDS specifically in Malawi. I can't imagine the burden that one has to carry who has HIV/AIDS in Malawi and surrounding countries. I've always had a heart for children - and learning that 15 million children have been orphaned by AIDS - I just can't get my head around that. It's overwhelming! The UN has put out their 2006 Report On The Global Aids Epidemic and the statistics are sobering. *South Africa remains one of the worst - 5.5 million people living with AIDS *An estimated 38.6 million people are living with AIDS worldwide by the end of 2005 There is also progress being made in many ares. *The number of people using HIV testing and counselling service has quadrupled in the past 5 yrs. in over 70 countries *In 58 countries that reported - 74% of primary schools and 81% of secondary schools now provide HIV/AIDS education *6 of 11 African countries heavily affected by HIV reported a decline of 25% or more in HIV cases among 15-24 yr. olds in capital cities. This is good news -- and yet there is still a lot more to be done. Get involved!

... oooonly a few days left til' ...

2006-12-19T17:12:00.000-08:00

It just wouldn't be Christmas without Hoops & YoYo :)

I do pray that your Christmas is filled with the joy of the most precious gift that was given to us in Christ.

Isaiah 9:6 "For to us a child is born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

2006-12-18T14:08:00.000-08:00

NOOMA

I like these. They help people relate to the gospel. I feel sometimes like it's pouring too. Sometimes the Lord allows us to be in the down pouring rain. What do we learn there? I'll let you know, I'm in the middle of one now :)

... time to color ...

2006-12-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas time and it's time to color the Silas Partners Christmas card!

Although getting these things sent out has not been as fun as coloring -- I'll admit that I took a little break to color in the midst of labeling and comparing spreadsheets.

Have fun!

Silas

this saturday

2006-12-04T09:12:00.000-08:00

I can't wait! This Saturday is going to rule the schools! I need to do this on my boat -- I still need to get a boat :)

.... victory ...

2006-12-04T07:52:00.000-08:00

Navy

Victory for my Mids! They have had an amazing season! Once again we've captured the Commander's Cup. I tell ya -- they just keep getting better each year. Season tickets for me next year -- no matter what! What a great weekend-- :)

RED

2006-12-01T14:38:00.000-08:00

December 1, 2006 -- Today is World AIDS Day. Having the opportunity to help share some stats with my co-workers this afternoon reminded me of how much we all need to know about this. AIDS is not just something that effects "other" people. It impacts all of us - globally. Please take some time to look at some of the links below and pray about how you can do something to help spread awareness and erase the stigma that so many people live with.

Youtube

(RED)

World Vision

2006-11-22T07:58:00.000-08:00

THE LAMP!

Ok, so i hope that some of you remember how much i loved this commercial when it was out 5 years ago! i've been googling it forever and this morning i thought i'd check out youtube and there it was!

i know lizzy and brady you watched this with me a number of times - and so here it is again :)

have a wonderful thanksgiving!

... prayer...

2006-11-20T18:57:00.000-08:00

What a day! God has been so kind today -- thankfully my attitude changed toward the holidays. This time of year is always difficult with dad being gone. Christmas was always so much fun with dad. He would wake me up to the blaring Hallelujah Chorus early in the morning and we'd make breakfast and then open gifts. There was always the normal gifts like the traditional red sweater, some Nixon stuff, a plan ticket to a presidential library, that kind of thing. But, then there was always the gift at the end that I had no idea about. I was always surprised! The gift was something that I had mentioned that I liked or pointed out during the year -- and there it was - in a box for me :)

I feel like the Lord has been encouraging me over the past few days especially. Being 31 and single and not close with my family is a situation that easily allows me to have pity on myself. I want a family of my own and yet there are times that I doubt the Lord has heard my prayers on that matter. And then there are times when I think about the box at Christmas -- there is ALWAYS something that He has in store for me that I have absolutely no clue about. The Lord has been kind and gracious to me this holiday season. I'm humbled to think of the greatest gift that He gave to us... His Son. I know that Jesus felt alone while He walked the earth, He felt fear, and yet He continued to pray.

May this week of Thanksgiving - bring about and encourage you (and me) to reflect on what we have been given.
"Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld His love for me!" Psalm 66:20

... yet another blessing ...

2006-11-18T17:08:00.000-08:00

The Lord has been so kind this week. He blessed me with a new position at work that will allow me to use my skills of being social and relational to build relationships with local churches and organizations that share in the spreading of the Gospel.

And as the holidays are quickly approaching - I was getting nervous. As I get older and have no family of my own - it has gotten a little difficult. Thankfully, I'm sharing Thanksgiving with 2 saregate families that are dear to me. AND yesterday I talked with the De Laney's and am heading to Bama to spend Christmas with them. Another year I will get to wake up the family to the blarling and beautiful sound of the Hallelujah Chorus :)
No more worrying about Thanksgiving and Christmas! Why? Because the Lord has chosen to be gracious to me again.

5 years

2006-11-07T18:54:00.000-08:00

Five years has gone by so fast. So much has changed in the past 5 years. I'm finally out here in DC and dad is in heaven. What blessings. I'm so thankful that the Lord allowed me to be part of my dad becoming a Christian. Nothing in my life thus far has had such an impact on my life.

I miss him terribly, but am looking forward to spending eternity with him in the presence of the Lord.

Isaiah 40:31

Yeah Henry!

2006-11-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

Henry rocked the New York City Marathon this past weekend. I find his drive amazing and discipline. Here are the results of Henry's run in the NYC Marathon

Good Times

2006-10-28T10:52:00.000-07:00

Yarmy is leaving today - BLAH!

God has other things for him - but I'll sure miss his jokes and annoying me !

Keep it realy Yarmy! :)

... wish one of these had been closer...

2006-10-20T15:06:00.001-07:00

i'm wondering if this has ever happened to anyone else... so, this past week i've been kinda out of it (got my wisdom teeth out on monday) and so the pain medication has made me kind of spacey. anyway, i knew that i needed gas on tuesday afternoon. the gas low chime kindly reminded me. i usually have about 20-25 miles left once that happens. i drove to work on thursday and had some errands to run so i used more gas during the day. last night on my way home - i thought "i need to get some gas! i've got to be really low!" and then... nixon(the name of my jeep) started to chug . after the light turned green i stepped on the gas, it moved forward and then the sterring wheel was not turnable. i began to coast down king street for about 15 feet until it stopped. i put it in park and then called my roommates. thankfully, the Lord has has my life be a continual "docudrama" as one of my friends call it. so, things like this don't really phase me. i did get a hold of my roommate east and she was on her way. so, i took some time to catch up on a phone call with a good friend and that was good. i definitely wish that i had an iced latte while i was hanging out on king street.

anyway, i can't complain - the Lord had me slow down for a while and so i'm thankful for the blessing in Him making me stop for a while. maybe i should do that more often? :)

... if you could have just one wish ...

2006-10-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

... ok... so this afternoon i was thinking about something that i really want to do some day, ASAP, whatever that means :) ... i know this is pretty predictable... but i want to fly in a Navy F-18 (i would also have taken an F-14, but they've been retired) --- what is your wish? is there somewhere you want to go? something you want to do or accomplish?

i look forward to hearing your responses!

... after a tough day ...

2006-10-10T17:58:00.000-07:00

ok, so i love this web site. sometimes when i'm stressed out or just because i love to laugh i look at this site. my friend rhea and i look at it and have been using a lot of one liners from it. it's hilarious!

hoops and yoyo

... what i learned this weekend ...

2006-10-10T16:46:00.000-07:00

... the Lord is so gracious and indeed does answer prayers. ten years ago i prayed that i wanted to be a part of Truth For Life
and 10 years later - i get to work with them on their website.

that meant i returned home to cleveland. it was so much easier then i thought it would be. there was time for me to meet up with 3 friends from college that i haven't seen in years. a friend of mine that i dearly missed will actually be travelling to dc often over the course of the next few months. i'll get to see her a lot. what a blessing.

... and the most important thing that i took away from this weekend that i found encouraging was something that alistair begg said,"2006 has not surprised God." what an encouragement that is! as i look at the youth of today and can easily get discouraged, what a great reminder that He is in control.

the memory verse for the weekend was 1 peter 1:24-25 that's a good reminder too!

who get's enough rest these days anyways?

2006-10-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

So, lately I've been feeling convicted of the little amount of rest that I get and have been getting. Life has given me the impression that in order to feel like my life is being used well that my calendar always needs to be full. LIE! Think about it, how many times do you try and squeeze in coffee with a friend, and during that time you're thinking about the next thing you have on dock to go do.

Christ has called us to rest in Him. How often do I really do that? You'd think someone with the health issues that I've got would be intentional about these things. Well, I hate to break it to ya, but I'm one of "those people." So, let me encourage you to encourage one another (and by another I mean me too!) to slow down and pay attention to the amazing things that God is doing NOW, this minute, this day.

Matthew 11:29

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

2006-09-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

Continuum -- I really like this word - and I like the new John Mayer album too :) Since last Sunday's sermon that finished up the book of Ruth by Mark Dever I've been thinking about the faithfulness of the Lord. Ruth out of simple obedience and honor to her mother-in-law ends up being part of such a huge story. The story is encouraging to be continuous in seeking Him daily. Ruth is a good example of being faithful in the little things. It's also a wonderful story of how the Lord blessed Naomi even when she was complaining and being stubborn. God continued to love her and chose to bless her as well.

May you continue to seek the face of the One who loves you continuously!

How famous are you?

2006-09-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

http://babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html

This week has been one of those weeks that I've run in to a bunch of people who seemed angry, frustrated and definitely in a hurry to not let anyone get in their way. A simple visit to the cell phone store turned in to hours of waiting. Some people had been waiting for over 3 hours -- for a cell phone! Ok, so the lady who was waiting for over 3 hours - she had a right to be upset.

It got me thinking about how we all think we're so important. We all need to go to the front of the line, for whatever reason. I think that where I need to go next means that my turn is more important than other people that have been waiting.

This morning the Lord hit me upside the head -- why are you so important? Well, the answer is... I'm not!

In John 3:30 Christ reminds us "He must become greater, I must become less."

How am I doing this daily?
Am I encouraging others as I see them decreasing themselves and increasing Christ?
What do we learn about Christ as we pursue a relationship with Him?

Anyway, I've attached a fun link to see the popularity of your own name. It's fun, and humbling -- there are so many people out there with the same name as you!

May you seek after the Lord and not get caught up about how important you think you are.

2006-09-13T06:40:00.001-07:00

ummm..... flip flops

2006-09-07T16:35:00.000-07:00

...... on a sad note.... it's almost time to put my flip flops away. French manicured toes will not be seen till the Spring.... Yeah Right! I'm gonna wear 'em anyway!

Although leaves are falling, the flip flops remain!

2006-09-01T18:32:00.000-07:00

Navy won the season opener! :)

..... and that's another Navy first down.......

.... no more Candeto... but the love continues

.... and it's football season ......

2006-08-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

OH YES! It's that time of year -- when Fedor gets all happy and silly and totally consumed by college football. But, hey, it's a great thing - Navy football! Even though Candeto has left the game -- let tradition continue on!

Go Navy! Beat Army!

Isaiah 6:8

Yes.... it's that time again.... this day in history....

2006-08-09T06:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, friends.... It's that day in history -- August 9, at 12:00 PM when my favorite president - Richard Milhous Nixon got on to Marine One for the last time as president in the year 1974.

As I have joked and sent some of you a meeting request for a moment of silence :) -- I will admit that it has (as it always does this time of year) to take inventory on how history will view me/you/us? For a man like Nixon he fought hard to NOT be remembered by history as "Watergate" -- unfortunately, decades later that is still the case.

What will history remember you as? When you are gone and someone brings up your name, what will be their initial thought about your life, your character, your impact on peoples lives? What do you want them to say? How are you going to make changes?

As I had the privilege to hang out with Julie Nixon Eisenhower and learn about "her dad" not "the president" I gained a lot of knowledge about Nixon. What a privilege that time was. How amazing is it that Nixon became a Christian after his resignation thanks to people like Billy Graham who invested in him. When the world turned their back on him, others saw hope.

Nixon reminds me that we are all sinners and that we should rightfully be humiliated by the sins we commit. Can you imagine if YOUR sins and thoughts were broadcasted across the world. Yeah, I thought so! After studying Nixon for years that's one of the things I've learned. We all have that tendancy and by the grace of God our sins aren't on the tv screens of the world. But, that's what we deserve. God sees them, yet due to HIS love for us, HE forgives them.

Isaiah 1:18 "Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."

Thorns and keys

2006-08-03T12:08:00.000-07:00

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But, He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

On my way in to work in the mornings - I usually listen to one of my favorites (and my old pastor) - Allistair Begg on www.truthforlife.org
The message was one that hit me up side the head. I've long been struggling with health issues causing extreme fatigue, loss of appetite, weight gain, and clumsiness. I've been frustrated that I've not found a doctor to actually figure out what is going on and how to "quickly" fix it so that I can feel better and get on living my life "normally." It was such a blessing to hear how the Lord chooses to use thorns in our side to bring us closer to Himself and to show us just how weak we truly are. It has been something that I've been wrestling with this past week. It's been so amazing how I've been filtering things that are going on in my life through this scripture. It's easy to look at Paul - a godly man - and think that of course he could deal with this, it's Paul! But, I believe this scripture is here to encourage us today. To remind each one of us of the vastness of the Lord's process. We are so concerned with getting through the trial or thorn and making plans about what we'll do when.... we have enough money, enough time, better health, better living situation, etc. Well, that's a lie! God does not guarantee that He will ever remove the thorns that HE Himself has chosen to put there. God does not waste time, He is intentional, He knows what He's doing.

So, all that to say, I'm thankful (a little bit more than a week ago) that these things are going on in my life. It has provided me with a reality that I need to rely on Christ who has carried all this for me. That no matter what I don't have or get, He is always with me, and His grace is sufficient. That's key to remember when I feel like there will never be resolution. May your thorns be covered by His grace.

2006-07-28T18:18:00.000-07:00

Thank you Lord for forgiveness and the gift of reconciliation.

Ephesians 2:11-22

Singles

2006-07-23T16:58:00.000-07:00

Cheese! This past week I have had a few conversations with friends regarding their singleness. I kept thinking about 1 John 3:1 "See what love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God." It is amazing to think about how much God first loved me, when I turned my back on Him. Yet, in his love for us, He humbled Himself and was made Man. He then promises that He knows even when a sparrow falls, how much more does He pay attention to the details of us.

Then, this morning the sermon just about rocked me. Michael spoke on "God is love." He spoke to the singles in the church that have the desire to be married. I was overwhelmed by the truth presented, though I've heard it many times before. He said that while sometimes we think that we are unloveable or loveless, God still loves us. He loves us perfectly all the time, wherever He has us. So, regardless of if we are single or married, His love is perfect for us, and that is all that is needed.

Yeah, I know I know, it's not always easy to be happy with the circumstance of being single (I'm on of them :) -- but what a beautiful reminder of how much and how well we are loved.

I encourage you to take a few minutes this week to journal, pray, talk to friends about how the Lord has been lavishing you with His love, even when we don't deserve it.

Sufficient

2006-07-09T20:23:00.000-07:00

The love of Christ the past few months has been overwhelming. He has been sufficient although I thought all I needed was a job to fix things. He had a different plan (as He always does) - a plan to use my circumstance for my ongoing sanctification.

He has been gracious and provided me with a job that I will start in about a wek and a half. I am looking forward to working with friends from church and being challenged.

Thank you all who have been praying for me. The Lord has been so kind in giving me friends like you all.

To Him be the glory.

II Corinthians 12:9 "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Job n' jobs

2006-07-05T19:47:00.000-07:00

Job

Job or job -- This week I sure feel like Job from the bible in the circumstance of the job. Today has been quite a day. It appears that I was mislead about a position that I was told was mine, just a matter of some logistical matters. I've turned down other positions because I really wanted to work for this organization... then today was left a voice mail that they have decided not to increase the size of their staff for a while.

Praise God that He has a plan in all of this. As I am discouraged and sad, He is in control. He knows how my circumstance will bring glory to His name. For that I am grateful. This past Sunday our sermon mentioned that this side of heaven is temporary and so thinking on heaven was helpful today. Knowing the Lord sees things the opposite way that we do. He sees eternity and looks back at the today. We see today and don't trust eternity.

Thank you Lord that you have chosen to refine me, humble me, and given me a thankful heart amidst life's circumstances. Thank you for Job as his life has been encouraging and motivating to me. Thank you that you are showing me just a glimpse of how Christ must was poor, yet rich in Your love.

Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; Your love O lord, endures forever -- do not abandon the works of Your hands."

2006-06-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

Thank you Lord for fun girlfriends to celebrate with!

2006-06-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

... the Lord is so merciful. As I reflect on what the Lord has provided in my life for the past 31 years I am overwhelmed with His provision. Seriously, if you think about it -- how many of us would have had our lives be what they are today, with our past as it has been. Exactly what I thought :)

But, what a great reminder it is - that although I make plans and try to have "control" of my life, I most surely do not.

But God knows -- Isaiah 55:11 "So is My Word that goes out from My mouth: It will not return to Me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

..... humility.....

2006-06-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

It's been that kind of week so far. BUT GOD has been gracious in providing me with sight that is definitely not my own.

My circumstances have no impact on the truth of the gospel. That is encouraging. Although the Lord has chosen to give me a life with constant change, He has not changed. The scripture from Job provides comfort to my soul. Thank you all for praying -- keep on !

Job 11
"You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by. Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid, and many will court your favor."

2006-06-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

Psalm 5:3
"In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."

Finally, I have gotten to that point. Praise God. After weeks of fighting with the Lord to hurry up and bring me a job ASAP (really meaning yesterday!) - I am broken and it's a good place to be. I know that the Lord is working all this out for my good. The book Brokenness by Lon Solomon is a good book to read too! The Lord is gracious and kind. Entrust your cares to Him, He does listen. The best part is what He does with it. It's always better than what we'd think up :)

2006-06-02T06:07:00.000-07:00

The Lord is definitely unfailing. This morning as I was driving in I saw my favorite thing in the sky... no, it was not an F-14A :) -- It was 3 birds. For years whenever I've seen 3 birds flying together it has reminded me of the Trinity. As this morning I was in tears due to the stress of this job search -- and the fact that yesterday's interview was the worst I'd ever had -- I felt the Lord hit me up side the head! He knows me! He is the One who is allowing this trial in my life. While I admit that I'm not afraid that He will provide, but the manner in which He will do it --
Deut. 31:8 "The Lord Himself goes before you and WILL be with you. He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged."

BAM! Fedor just was hit upside the head :)

And, on another note -- the coolest pastor I know has his own blog :) Click on it :)

www.purechurch.blogspot.com

Blessings

2006-05-28T15:04:00.000-07:00

Blessings -- I can't stop thinking about them since yesterday. I had the privilege of hanging out with some of my favorite people last night. And all I could think was "what a blessing this time is." It is overwhelming to me how the Lord works in the lives of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Each one of us has a story of how He brought us out of darkness and into His glorious presence.

The coolest family of all is moving soon and so last nights dinner/hang out time was a time that we got to know them more and be encouraged by them and vice versa. What a blessing. This morning our sermon was on 1 Peter 1:1-12 and it was a blessing (you need to listen to it @ www.capitolhillbaptist.org). What a reality check it was for me. Kurt posed the question - "In what ways am I living for this world and not focused on the next?" BAM! That put my fears of the next job, who I'll marry, will I ever lose the 45 lbs., and many others that I think about daily in such a different perspective.

Suffering than glory
Suffering for His glory

May the words of Peter encourage you to stop trying to "fit in" to this world and prepare yourself for the life to come! No matter what trials you may encounter - look through the perspective of eternity.

The weather :)

2006-05-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

This morning it sure looks like it's going to rain. I love thunder storms! It's such a great observance of the control the Lord has over the earth. Today I am going to read over the following passage. As I have been stressed out from job searching - it's an encouragement to know that even though I focus on circumstances, they are all molding me in the image of Christ and sanctifying me. Take heart!
http://www.weather.com
Jesus Calms the Storm

Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"
He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!"

2006-05-24T12:56:00.000-07:00

This seriously looks sooo fun! How I miss sailing - racing! That's about all that I miss about Ohio. Sailing on "Maverick" my sail boat and the Valley. So much has changed in the 6 years I've been out in DC. The Lord has been faithful and has stretched me beyond what I thought possible. Trials aren't really that fun, fun like flying on the side of a main sail in a regatta -- but, He is the One who rules the wind!
Mark 4:39 "He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm."

The past few weeks as I've been job searching day and night (literally - me and my Mac laptop have bonded :) I have forgotten who rules the wind. Even the wind obeys our Lord! The wind - ya know, the thing we can feel but we can't see. And yet, I keep finding myself acting as though the Lord has forgotten my circumstances... I'm broke, I need a job! Do you hear me???? What are You doing? That's been my thoughts.

I pray that whatever you are going through at this time in life, that the Lord will remind you that He controls all that happens this side of heaven too!

arifleischer

2006-05-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

arifleischer
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

So, last night was my first Nats game (thanks to my sweet new roommate Sarah -- she doesn't yet know her new nickname will be S-dub :) Anyway, we saw Ari getting a grilled hot dog while we were in line as well as Sheila Jackson Lee. Baseball, good times :)

starbuckscup

2006-05-08T18:32:00.000-07:00

starbuckscup
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Wow! #92, what a good thing to read today. I was so blessed this weekend by a dear friend of mine who will get an extra jewel in her crown when she gets to heaven.

Look at all the blessings around you - sincerely look. There are so many things that on an everyday traffic packed, long work hours, and long commutes days.... we get distracted. Yet, God is in the midst of it, all that craziness and sress. I was reminded this past weekend as I actually took the time to slow down (and got a latte of course :) -- God is so gracious and He is so faithful and trust worthy. I need to trust Him more than I do today and yesterday -- I am being stretched and I'm loving it!

So, go get yourself a latte and think about what the Lord has blessed you with in your life, all of it!

Cappi

2006-04-03T08:46:00.000-07:00

Cappi
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

My trip to TX was good. I had a few latte's and got a good pedicure.

God is good and the sermon that Mark gave about being a joyful giver really is going to help this week because it's going to be a tough one!

yellow flowers

2006-03-11T17:45:00.000-08:00

yellow flowers
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Yeah! So, today I busted out the Reef flip-flops, had the windows down, the sun roof open -- it's coming! NAVY FOOTBALL SEASON! :) and you thought I was going to say Spring!

I can't wait for Spring either! Flip flops, sunglasses, Jack Johnson, sun tans, tan lines, singing with friends in the car, cute boys in Jeeps w/ baseball hats!

I forgot how much I love Spring!
*Let the countdown to Navy football season begin!

09/02/06 East Carolina Annapolis, Md. CSTV TBA
09/09/06 UMass Annapolis, Md. CSTV TBA
09/16/06 Stanford Palo Alto, Calif. TBA
09/23/06 Tulsa Annapolis, Md. CSTV TBA
09/30/06 Connecticut East Hartford, Conn. TBA
10/07/06 Air Force Colorado Springs, Colo. TBA
10/14/06 Rutgers Annapolis, Md. CSTV TBA
10/28/06 Notre Dame Baltimore, Md. CBS TBA
11/04/06 Duke Durham, N.C. TBA
11/11/06 Eastern Michigan Ypsilanti, Mich. TBA
11/18/06 Temple Annapolis, Md. CSTV TBA
12/02/06 Army Philadelphia, Pa. CBS TBA

GO NAVY! BEAT ARMY!

2006-03-01T09:18:00.000-08:00

Today is not a good day with my attitude. I woke up late this morning because I thought this morning I had a dentist appointment - then I got to work and my intern was not in a good mood b/c she is fasting for Ash Wednesday. Then my roommates decided they want to think more about us getting internet at home. That is what really is annoying today. We have a land line (which I will NEVER use - and they have a second line that we pay for every month that nobody is using for "dial up" internet) -- That is $80. a month. Then our cable each month is about $50. That totals $130. a month for just phone and cable. I found a package where we will get cable, DSL/Wireless service, and phone for $130.!!! And now they want to think about it.... I don't understand - this isn't rocket science. They both said they would use the internet capabilities - and meanwhile I'm paying for 2 landlines that I won't ever use. Sorry, I had to vent. Just like my friend Eric Robertson. I don't get people!

I gotta go now - I am in need of a latte! :)

The road ahead

2006-02-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

The road ahead
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Encouragement: I've been very encouraged by some great people this week. Thank you to Antwon, Julie Jackson and Heather Kirkland. It's a blessing to have great friends and to be encouraged by you even when I didn't know I needed to be!

This thing called life is crazy, but thank you for walking it with me!

truth

2006-02-06T09:45:00.000-08:00

truth
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Conformity to fact or actuality.
A statement proven to be or accepted as true.
Sincerity; integrity.
Fidelity to an original or standard.

Reality; actuality.
often Truth That which is considered to be the supreme reality and to have the ultimate meaning and value of existence.

As I've been going through some struggles lately - I've been reading a great book by Larry Crabb, called "Shattered Dreams" - I highly recommend it to anyone.
It's encouraged me to think about how God takes the dreams that we hold so tight, destroys them or makes them empty only to bring us something better and new and bigger than we could have imagined.
That's the kind of truth that I want to have. I want to have the longing that although there are a lot of things I "want" - I have no clue how Christ will reveal His dreams for me once I get through this waist deep pride of how I think my health should be NOW, how I think my future boyfriend/husband should be NOW, and how much more $ I should be paid for my work NOW!
That's the truth - and I hope that while we're all on this side of heaven we continue to seek HIS version, not ours.

annapolisposter

2006-02-01T14:05:00.000-08:00

annapolisposter
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Ok, I did go and see this movie (Imagine that!) I did cry and I did feel patriotic, sentimental, and proud. Even though I was bothered that the movie wasn't filmed on campus and that some of the surroundings were not realistic - for example, there is not a ship yard across from USNA, instead there is the Chart House restaurant.
But, overall I liked the movie. It was encouraging to never give up - even when those around you tell you that you're not good enough or that you will never be able to accomplish anything.
And of course the fact that Donnie Wahlberg from NKOTB was in the movie! He is not too bad in the movie :)

undone

2006-01-26T07:12:00.000-08:00

undone
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

This past Sunday at church (www.capitolhillbaptist.org) the sermon was very challenging. With it being the New Year when most of us make resolutions that we aren't going to remember by Jan. 31 - there were 11 points given to spiritually challenge us all throughout this year. Since there were 11, I'm going to give one on average a month..... So, here it goes:
1. What command has God given me that I have left undone?

Tears

2006-01-23T06:27:00.000-08:00

Tears
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Wow! What a stressful week it was for me last week. First, let me thank you ALL who prayed and especially those of you who participated monitarily to the situation. What a blessing you are!

Crying, I haden't done that in a long time and I sure needed it. The Lord has such an amazing way of working things out in the lives of those He calls His children. Until last week I hadn't been aware of how much of a burden and bondage financial matters were in my life until I was face to face with it. And then when I faced it, God provided a way out. The past few years have been quite difficult -- But, what a blessing it's been to be able to relate to so many more people through my trials then would have been possible if they never would have occured.
I've been encouraged by Job's words:
11:16-18 "You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by. Life will be brigter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope; You will look about you and take your rest in safety."

No matter what is going on in your life - be confident that He knows what's going on and He will bring you through!

Surprise face!

2006-01-05T15:32:00.000-08:00

Surprise face!
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Most of the time this is my attitude. I love to be silly and make people laugh. I am thankful that the Lord has given me a place to work that allows me to be "Fe" and encourages me to continue to get better at my job. Time for Fedor to head to Cali for the first client I've brought in. Of course they are military related :) www.soldiersangels.com is their address.
Anyway, I'm not saying that my job is perfect - that there aren't days when I want to cry or yell or even swear - but God has been gracious to me and I'm thankful to be where He's got me. I'm moving this weekend and going to have roommates again. It's been about 7 years since I've had roomies, so that is going to be a change. I'm losing some of the greatest roommates ever - Kate and Owen (and Julie and Eric too) - Kids rock!

Keep it Real!

John J. Fedor

2005-12-27T13:29:00.000-08:00

John J. Fedor
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Wow! Today is my dad's birthday - He would have been 58 today. And it's amazing to me how this year it's really hit me hard. I miss him so much. Life is just not the same without him. What an amazing encouragement to know that I'll spend eternity with him in heaven.
The Lord has been so good to me and yet I feel that there is so much I want to do. Makes me aware that none of us really know how long we have on this side of heaven. If we truly do love Christ, we need to and should want to be representation to those who do not know him.
Isaiah 6:8 "And then I heard the voice of the Lord say, "Who will go? Whom shall I send?" And I replied, "Here I am, send me!"
My prayer is that this upcoming year that is our hearts cry.

Jennifer & Dad

2005-12-08T15:18:00.000-08:00

Jennifer & Dad
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Wow! This is a step back about 28 years! I love this picture though so I had to post it. It makes me smile to see this, and miss my dad of course. Did I even know what Christmas was then? All I know is that I got a sweet Radio Flyer for Christmas!
Really, Now that I know what Christmas is truly about and who Christmas is really for - the question is... what do I do daily to reflect the joy I have in Christ's birth? What are you doing this holiday season to demonstrate the same love that Christ brought in to this world?

Merry Christmas!

1951 Army/Navy ticket

2005-12-02T05:30:00.000-08:00

1951 Army/Navy ticket
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Incase you haven't realized... my love's are in this order... Christ, Navy, coffee -

Tomorrow is like the greatest Christmas present ever! And I get to experience it every year! If you have not been to an Army/Navy game - you're missing out!

What a rivalry and at the same time an honor - these mids and cadets are going to some day in the near future defend our country and the very freedom that we take for granted daily. Their lives are selfess, they are putting others before themselves.

But, let's not forget my friends, Jesus was the first member of the Navy... He walked on water :)

HOOOAH!

Mids @ Army/Navy '05

2005-11-30T16:26:00.000-08:00

Mids @ Army/Navy '05
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Can you guess what is coming up in just days??? The next best holiday next to Christmas.... the ARMY/NAVY GAME!!!! www.phillylovesarmynavy.com - I am so excited, this year Navy has a good record and after winning this game we'll get the Commander's Cup ... yet another year!

The game will be aired @ 2:30 PM on Saturday, check your local listings and yell - GO NAVY! BEAT ARMY!

Surprise face!

2005-11-22T09:23:00.000-08:00

Surprise face!
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

That's pretty much how this year has been for me. I'm always surprised at what the Lord wills to bring to my life. It's so amazing to see how He has things work and not work out in my life and those around me.

Today I'm heading home for Thanksgiving to visit friends and family. It will be good to go to the Valley and take a walk, to go to Rocky River Brewing Co. for a bleu cheese burger www.rockyriverbrewco.com and my favorite Caribou Coffee spot in the world www.caribou.com

6 hours for me to ponder, pray, and of course sing in the car!

Enjoy your Thanksgiving and regardless of what the Lord has willed to occur in your life - be encouraged my friends! There is a Starbucks in heaven! :)

My Peeps - FPIE co-ed

2005-11-13T13:47:00.000-08:00

My Peeps - FPIE co-ed
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Touchdown Jesus... I'm still perplexed as to how this all came to be - but the trip was a lot of fun. South Bend is Ohioish to me - but it was good to be in the Midwest for a few days. The hospital that we visited was amazing in their approach to educating kids about health.

South Bend Country Club

2005-11-13T13:38:00.000-08:00

South Bend Country Club
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Don't you just love golf courses! I've attempted to play once in my life. This course was in South Bend, IN - where my friend TK is from. God made a beautiful day !

FPIE

2005-11-09T04:24:00.000-08:00

DSC00033
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

Just was thinking about the FPIE this morning. Thanks Amy for your note. I miss you all and hope that we can all hang out soon!

W!

Navy Notre Dame football ticket

2005-10-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

Navy Notre Dame football ticket
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

I love my job! I've been wanting for years to attend the Navy vs. Notre Dame football game... not b/c I like Notre Dame (obviously)- but it's all about the rivalry, the atmosphere, and of course... THE MIDSHIPMEN!!!
Anyway, I am going on a trip to do a presentation to a hospital in South Bend, and wouldn't you believe that it's the same weekend that Navy is playing ND!!!
So, I know - I'm going nuts and sooooo excited!

h20

2005-09-28T15:41:00.000-07:00

h20
Originally uploaded by jenniferfedor.

does it ever seem like your life is moving along and one day you realize that a month or more has gone by? Well, I was today! I remember telling friends that we would get together over 2 months ago and here I am, 2 months later and still haven't seen them! To my peeps that I was supposed to see or catch up with - please forgive me, I'm a yahoo!